Christmas: Diesel Van

One of the Christmas traditions at the church where I served as Administrator, was an all-church Christmas party. The highlight of the party was the staff skit. We were blessed to have a creative Associate Pastor and an artistic Senior Pastor, who when combining their efforts could produce some great work. It's important that I set the atmosphere.

As with a lot of things in church ministry, the Christmas party would be on the calendar months in advance, but the planning was last minute. The organized, non-procrastinators would begin reminding the staff that we needed to start thinking about the staff skit a month or so before the party, but their warnings and urgings fell on to the floor with no response. The day of the party would roll around and all hands would be on deck - the entire day devoted solely to creating, editing and practicing the skit. The atmosphere in the office was electric with the buzz of the pending deadline, the natural stagefright before a performance and the fear of writer's block with the deadline looming so closely. Rushing out the door with the final script in hand, we'd race to gather our families and head to the party. Our spot in the program would roll around and the skit would come off as if we'd been rehearsing for weeks.

My final Christmas on staff followed this same routine. The day of the party we decided to make a parity on The Sound of Music, taking the well-known songs and writing lyrics based on events at the church. Each of us would sing a song as a solo and my solo was to the tune Edeleweiss with the following lyrics:

Diesel van, diesel van
every Sunday you choke me
rusty and old, forever cold
this is a nightmare, please poke me

When Ford makes a van it will stick around
stick around forever

Diesel van, diesel van,
why didn't you leave with Wayne Wever

The skit received rave reviews and was a smashing success. I even have a copy of it on tape, though none of the record labels picked it up. But the show ranks right up their with the previous classics. Next week I'll tell you about the skit that required me to wear green pantyhose.