Deja Vu

As I drove away it was deja vu except this time I was on the opposite side.


The deja vu moments started when the new care facility informed me that all of Dad's wardrobe would need to be identified with his initials. I'd been this before, but it was my clothes that needed name labels for me to be in boarding school. When you do upwards of 15 boys laundry once a week you have to have some system for keeping Jon's clothes separate from Sam's. In addition to name labels, each student was assigned a number that was theirs until they graduated; my laundry number was 20. I was so ingrained in this and also saw it as an easy way to keep socks paired for life (you know, like ducks), I continued the practice through college - with my white socks at least. So rushing to label Dad's wardrobe just hours before dropping him off triggered the flashbacks.


With him settled-in, all of the paperwork complete and his medications turned over to the nursing staff, it was time to go. It's not like this was the first time, we've been through this three to four times now, but this was different.


I felt guilty leaving him this time. Would he receive the care he needed, when he needed it? Would he enjoy his time there? Would he make friends? We've never talked about it, but I'm guessing I went through emotions my parents went through the day they drove away after dropping us off at the dorm for boarding school. I can only hope that on the other side, Dad was enjoying himself as much as I was so many years ago. Deja Vu.